I wish I could say no to everything that didn’t move me closer to my goals but it’s just not easy for me. I have a hard time saying no. I fear missing out on a life-changing opportunity or disappointing the people who come to me for help.

As I balance work, two young kids at home, and an Executive MBA, I find that I’m forced to prioritize and make trade-offs. One mindset shift that has helped me better manage requests is to view my time as a valuable currency that can be invested in activities.

Every request is a pitch for my time and as with all investment decisions, it’s important to do my due diligence. A few questions I find helpful to:

• Ask the person making the request:
  • Why did you come to me with this request?
  • What exactly do you need from me? By when?
  • Who else have you asked?
  • If the other person is my boss, I might ask:
    • How would you like me to prioritize this task?
    • What other projects should I delay or stop doing? 

• Ask myself:
  • Will this activity give me the most return towards one of my key goals or enhance a relationship I want to build?
  • What will I give up if I take this on? What are the opportunity costs? 
  • How else can I help this person without investing too much of my time?

Running through this checklist of questions allows me to slow down the decision process and hear the other person’s reasons for his or her request. If it’s a thoughtless request, it’ll be much easier to say no. If it’s an interesting or worthwhile ask, then I won’t feel guilty taking it on.

Managing my time as investable currency has helped me say no more easily and live life by design and not by default. Hopefully, if you have a hard time saying no, these questions can help you better manage the countless requests that come your way.

Inspired by Bill Jensen and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Photo by XoMEoX

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