This thought came to me as I was reading Love + Work by Marcus Buckingham, where he states:

“… to live happily and fully, you have to express your loves… You’ve got to get them out somewhere, somehow. Turn them from loves into actions; from passions into contributions and when you do, your life feels coherent and authentic and you know, you just know, every fiber of your being that you’re on your path. The inverse is also true, though… if you’re prevented from doing it (what you love) then your life starts to feel wrong. During the moments when you start thinking about doing something different because you’re frustrated, angry, concerned, think about what is happening in your current job and what you’re prevented from doing.” 

For any given job or career, there are times when we feel energized and there are times when we feel like quitting (even though we are in the same job). Often, our immediate response to unhappiness at work is to think about our exit plan. Before going there, take a moment to think about what your organization may be inadvertently stopping you from doing that means a lot to you. That insight may help you find a path forward either in your current role or when you look for your next opportunity. 

If you’re not sure what you love, take the free Gift of Standout Assessment. 

Don’t deny what you love and what you’re meant to do because it may just eat you up from the inside.

Inspired by Love + Work by Marcus Buckingham

Photo by whoislimos

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For those who have never worked from home before now, you’ll want to prepare by doing the following:

Take inventory (literally) of what you need to effectively do your job

At first, it’s easy to think that if you’ve got your laptop, you’re all set. Before making this assumption, take a moment to really think about how you work and the important tasks you need to get done. What files do you need to access? Do you need to print physical copies or ship things overnight? What else do you use to perform your job well and independently?

If your job requires you to collaborate with others often, figure out how you might replicate those work channels. Will you use Microsoft Teams, WhatsApp, Zoom, or other platforms? And, keep in mind that this isn’t your decision alone. You may need to decide as a team which platform works best for everyone.

Ensure you have a strong virtual presence

Just like you wouldn’t show up to work disheveled, make sure your virtual presence is equally put together. Does your home workspace reflect how you want people to see you? What, exactly, do people experience when they watch you “through the lens”? Here are some questions to consider: Are you dressed appropriately? Is your sound quality strong? Is your camera lighting and set up effective? Is there a risk of annoying or unexpected background noise?

If you are working in your personal space, control the frame that people see. Perhaps you’ll want to move your laundry basket out of the frame. How about that wine bottle you keep on the counter behind you? Remove anything you’d rather others not see. Since it’s a best practice to turn on your camera, the excuse that your webcam is not working will only last for so long.

Create an environment that is easy to work in

Most of us separate our work lives from our home lives and our environment reflects that. If you’re not used to working from home, your home may be filled with distractions. To ensure your own effectiveness, find ways to create a workspace that blocks out those distractions.

Since NYC just closed schools, I have two young kids running around the house. If you can get help from a relative or a babysitter to watch them during key work hours, great! If you and your spouse are both working from home, consider staggering work call times with your spouse in case you need to take turns keeping the kids busy. If you are alone, manage the expectations of your clients and colleagues as you figure out a longer-term solution.

Another practical tip from my colleagues who work 100% remote is to structure your day so you can settle into a regular routine. Decide specific times when your workday starts and ends. Schedule breaks throughout the day since it’ll be unlikely your colleagues will drop by your desk to give you a “natural” break. For some of you with chatty colleagues, this might be a perk.

Stay close and connected

When you work from home, you are increasing the distance on three dimensions – physical, operational, relational. Your goal is to understand how those distances impact you and how you can best minimize them. My colleague, Neha Ratnakar, shares 6 ways to reduce these distances in this article.

If you manage people, proactively connect with your team regularly. Schedule 1-on-1s and periodic check-ins. This is especially important if you typically check in with your team by just dropping by their offices. You may find yourself less able to catch physical cues when someone is not feeling their best. When we’re in the same office and we see someone feeling down, we ask, “Is everything ok?” This is so much harder to pick up on when we’re virtual. Remember to include small talk in your virtual meetings so you stay connected at all levels with your teammates.

Be clear about expectations

Although technology has come a long way to help us effectively engage in remote settings, our productivity is still dependent on the nature of our work and our own comfort level using these technologies. Since it’s easy to assume that we can quickly convert our in-person productivity to virtual, you’ll want to take a step back and ask yourself whether that’s true.

Have a conversation about what is the expected output now that you’re working from home. If you manage others, discuss your expectations and make sure they are realistic. You might also want to leverage email more to make things clear. Consider following up after meetings with a quick email summary of the conversation and confirm your understanding of Who does What by When. For right now, you may also want to add How, at least until we all have a better sense of how to work effectively in this new normal.

There is a lot to think about and this transition can be stress-inducing. You may find that you are less active working from home than you were in the office. Keep up your exercise routine and if you can’t go to the gym because of social distancing, then take a walk or go for a run. On the positive side, if you have a tiring commute or hectic morning routine, you may find that working from home gives you more flexibility and time with family. If you become adept at working remotely, you may also be broadening your career opportunities.

Photo by Bench Accounting

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.

Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

– Rumi, Persian Poet, Theologian and Scholar

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Exercise for your future health? Continuous learning for your future career moves? Time spent with your loved ones for your future relationships?

 

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

– Abraham Lincoln, American President

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Speak your mind when it adds value

Sol credits his meteoric rise to his brashness and courage to speak his mind. Early in his career, he spoke up about a product’s lack of effectiveness at an executive committee meeting. This got him noticed by the chairman who put him in charge of fixing the problem. He encourages anyone who has an idea that adds value to the company to speak up and to share those thoughts. When asked how he mustered the courage to do that, he said, “I didn’t know any better“. To help you decide when to speak up, ask yourself, “Is there something important that should be said that’s not being said right now?”

Look at everything and learn constantly

Sol cautions that if you do speak your mind, make sure you know what you’re talking about. He strongly believes that amassing knowledge is key to being successful. Whether it’s reading books and journals, listening to key experts, or studying with an institution, find ways to get up to speed on your business. The more knowledgeable you are, the better off you’ll be. This echoes advice from both Alex Gorsky, CEO of J&J, and Mary Barra, CEO of GM. Looking into everything doesn’t mean you’re going to get into the details every time, it means being adept at navigating a conversation at 50,000 feet and at 50 feet when needed.

Understand the rules of the game

Sol recognized early on that the rules of the game in business were not created for a Latino. Although he would be justified to be mad at the unfairness of the system, he knew that would be counterproductive. He understood that for him to win, he’ll need to be 5 to 10 times better than his peers. He also wanted to stay committed to his family so instead of going for rounds of golf, he threw himself into working hard on the business and spent his energy getting better as opposed to wishing the world around him was different.

Get good feedback

“Feedback is really good if you take it and learn from it” – Sol emphasized this point as one of the core factors for how he has been able to sustain his success. As he was rising in his career, he received feedback on his brashness and was able to learn how to get people to perform without the harshness he was using to communicate his expectations. What feedback are you getting from others? What feedback can you give to yourself?

Innovate to grow and compete

When Ken Chenault, former CEO of American Express, spoke at this same conference last year, he said, “if you’re not moving, you’re falling back.” Sol had a similar message where he stresses that every leader must consider two D’s – Digital and Diversity. He talked about the importance to adapt to new technologies and set up a team that allows you to diagnose a problem from different perspectives. To get buy-in for innovation, you must show conviction, passion, and knowledge about the Why and clear thinking about the What. 

What impressed me most about Sol was his courage to stand up for what is right. During his CEO role at Telstra, he faced a number of racist encounters around his Mexican heritage. When his wife asked him why he doesn’t just quit and pursue easier opportunities, he said it’s exactly because of these incidents that he could not quit and didn’t want to allow such ignorance to scare him off.

Photo from Morgan Stanley Senior Multicultural Conference #SMLC19

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What are you willing to do now that others are not willing to do? These actions and sacrifices will be what separates you from them in the future.

 

“Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

– Jerry Rice, American Football All Star

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These were the questions I asked myself during Professor Stew Friedman’s Total Leadership program at Wharton. What attracted me to take this course was Stew’s concept that work-life balance doesn’t work because it implies having to make trade-offs. Instead of managing life as slices of a pie that gets smaller or bigger at the expense of each other, his alternative was to consider different areas of your life as independent circles that can potentially overlap with each other.

This new construct helped me unlock the creativity to better optimize my life and it has transformed the way I live and work.

Before this course, I felt at the whim of my goals and the needs of my stakeholders. I felt forced to make tradeoffs in one area of my life because of the demands of another area and instead of leading my life, it was leading me. The process I learned in this live workshop with peer coaching helped me gain control over the important areas of my life. You’ll see below five insights that might be helpful to you as you think about leading all areas of your life:

Lead Your Life: Don’t Use One Area of Your Life to Make Excuses for Another Area

Before this program, I would often feel guilty that I did not get home early enough to spend time with my kids. I would use work as my excuse and rationalize that now is the time to focus on my career and once I’ve “made it”, I can carve out more time for family. Along the same vein, I would use my two young sons as the excuse for not exercising. I would tell myself, “How can I afford to work out if I don’t even have enough time to spend with my kids?” Then I would use the time I needed for work, school, family, and exercise to justify why I slept on average only five hours each night.

I found myself often saying how much I wanted to do these things but explaining how I couldn’t because of the many legitimate excuses that I had. Looking back, that was a weak way of living. This experience has taught me to either do what I say is important to do or stop saying it’s important to me. Either way is fine but continuing to make excuses is not.

As part of this course, we all conducted personal experiments. For my experiments, I committed to getting 7+ hours of sleep, getting home before 7pm during most of the work week, and exercising daily, which included running 2x a week. I was initially skeptical since I’ve had so many false starts trying to implement similar positive habits but I’m excited to share that so far I’ve not only sustained these habits but I just completed my first half-marathon after never running a race in the past.

What made the difference this time was clarifying the vision I wanted for my life and taking control to bring that vision to life. Essentially, leading myself to where I wanted to go.

Sleep Really Matters

I was lucky to choose sleeping 7+ hours as one of my experiments because there was no habit change that yielded faster and more drastic results than getting 7+ hours of sleep. I used to subscribe to the “you can sleep when you retire” and “I’m successful because I work harder and longer than everyone else” mantra. I’m beginning to see the fault in this thinking and realizing that I may have spun my wheels more often than I am aware of or care to admit.

After consistently getting 7+ hours of sleep, I noticed my mood becoming more positive and relaxed. What surprised me the most was that I immediately stopped craving coffee (I was drinking about 2-3 cups a day for the last few years).

I also found sleeping sufficiently a linchpin habit. The days when I was well rested, I almost always completed every other habit change along with my work and school goal for that day. It allowed me to exercise more self-control and discipline.

Create Constraints to Force Creativity

Forcing myself to get home early, sleep enough hours, and exercise daily meant taking time away from other areas of my life, especially work. Initially, I was worried I wouldn’t get my work done leading to adverse consequences. What I found instead was the most important work was still getting done and since my deadlines were tighter, I became more effective with my time. Having less time for work began to prevent me from over-engineering my work and school projects.

It also helped me to be more creative about my time. Instead of agreeing to drinks or dinner with a client, I would offer to meet for breakfast or lunch so I can keep my commitment to get home early. I started running and working out with other people as a great way to catch up with them. Interestingly, by creating constraints and forcing myself to keep these new habits, the quality of my life has increased at home and at work.

Be the Building Block for Other People’s Goals

One of the key exercises in the Total Leadership process was to set up conversations with the most important stakeholders in the different areas of your life. The goal is to ask your stakeholders about their expectations for you and how you’re doing in meeting those expectations.

Holding these conversations, I realized that I often see people around me as building blocks to my success and drive our interactions in the direction of my agenda and accomplishing my goals. Hearing people’s expectations of me have made me realize that other people have their own needs and aspirations and to create long-term, positive relationships with them, I need to be the building block for their goals and success.

If you want people to see you as a leader, they first have to recognize that their life will be better because they follow you. There is no better way to do that than to become a critical part in their quest for success and meaning.

Grow the Relationships You Take for Granted

Every year I have clear goals to improve and to grow my career. It seems like the natural thing to do. What’s interesting is when I reflect on my closest relationships, I don’t have the same aspirational tendency. I don’t think about growing these relationships and at best, the relationship stays where it is. The only time I pay attention is when the relationship gets strained and I spend just enough energy to get it back to the original level.

Applying the same growth mentality from my career to my personal relationships, I asked my wife, family, and others close to me what we needed to do to take our relationship to the next level. Just by having these conversations, my key relationships are beginning to thrive and grow and it’s having a positive impact on other areas of my life. When you ask people about their needs and truly listen, they often become open to sincerely understanding your needs. Another benefit to this exercise is it allows you to decide which relationships may not be worth investing in because the other person doesn’t want to engage.

To start this journey, craft the vision for your life and clarify your values. You choose the life you want to have and the key idea is to align your actions to bringing to life your vision. Stay attuned to how you’re tracking to your vision and continue iterating with experiments to find overlap in the different circles of your life.

If you would like to dive in deeper, check out Stew’s Total Leadership book, which outlines the exercises in his process. You can also take the Coursera version of the course.

Photo by Brooke Lark

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His practical and authentic lessons show why Ken is one of the most successful and respected CEOs of our time. As you read his insights below, you’ll see that he really means it when he says, “It is a privilege, not an entitlement, to lead.” An excellent reminder for anyone who leads or aspires to lead their organization.

Be Compassionate and Decisive

Great leaders understand that it’s important to take care of their people and stay accountable to the business when they make decisions. Leaders sometimes shy away from compassion because they confuse it with being indecisive or unable to make tough decisions. Ken showed his ability to balance these two qualities as he recounted the tough decision he made to lay off 15,000 employees after the economic downturn.

He believes that in these tough situations, people don’t deserve what’s happening to them but the circumstances demand it. In these critical moments, it’s up to leaders to show that they care and to take care of their people. Despite having to make this difficult but necessary business decision, Ken displayed compassion by devoting resources to help displaced employees find new jobs and opportunities. He held his executive team responsible for employee engagement and tied their compensation to an employee satisfaction survey sent to both existing employees and those who were let go. His actions during this time were given high ratings by both these groups. Ken reminded all of us that leaders who fail to take care of the business and its people will lose their privilege to lead.

Constantly challenge the status quo

“If you’re not moving, you’re falling back”. Ken stressed the importance of being innovative and striving to become the company that will put your current company out of business. He argued that it is not just about managing competitive threats, it’s about understanding what customers want and to focus the firm on better serving those needs. His litmus test for whether a leader or company is serious about innovation – look at the organization’s actions and the size of their R&D investments.

Know and run your business well

“Stay liquid, be profitable, and selectively invest in growth.” This fundamental lesson has come up in talks from both Alex Gorsky, CEO of Johnson and Johnson, and Mary Barra, CEO of GM. It’s worth paying attention to and as a leader, Ken believes that it is your job to think through the consequences of your decisions. As echoed in billionaire investor Ray Dalio’s Principles, you want to have a strong sense of your reality and go beyond 1st order consequences. The ability to look at the 2nd and 3rd order impact of your decisions will help you better lead your organization and yourself.

Strive to be a better leader, not to be CEO  

Ken never aspired to be CEO when he first agreed to work for American Express until he was approached with the possibility later in his career. He just focused on adding value to the company. If you are great at what you do and ambitious, you are probably on the fast track to the top. Once you recognize that, it is easy to play it safe and be more calculated and self-focused in your approach. Avoid this tendency. Don’t be a “maintainer” – keep taking risks and focus on helping the company and those around you succeed.

It is hard to get 1) the top spot if you’re just managing what already exists and 2) people to follow you if they feel like your actions are just about you and forwarding your agenda. No one cares if you get promoted unless it helps them achieve their goals.

Place a high premium on integrity and trust

Ken values these two qualities above many others because they are the basis for forming your reputation inside and outside your company. Periodically ask yourself,

“How consistent are my words and actions?”

Your answer to this question will tell you whether you are leading your life or your life is leading you. Ken ends his talk by emphasizing that all leaders should clarify their values and know their priorities. What do you live for? What’s the inspiring vision you have for your life?

Ken’s vision for himself is to “be successful as a person who stands for something”. What’s yours?

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For many of us, work makes up a big part of our waking hours. One of the most common pitfalls is getting stuck in the wrong job especially when the compensation and benefits are comfortable and the job is easy for you to do.

Then something happens.

Something that triggers you to reconsider whether your current job is the right one for you. Maybe your leadership team was inflexible with one of your requests, or you hear that one of your peers is rising much faster in their career than you are or you just have a boss that is overbearing. Whatever the reason, it’s helpful to periodically assess whether you are in the right role. This is particularly true if it’s a role you’ve been in for a long time.

In Dan Pink’s book, When, he outlines 5 questions you should consider if you’re not sure whether you should stay in your current job. If you answer “no” to a few of these questions, an exit might be exactly what you need.

• Would you choose to stay in this job during your next work anniversary?
  • Another question you might ask is: knowing what you know now, would you have taken the job that you currently have?

• Is your current job both demanding and in your control?
  • Do you feel challenged and are you offered autonomy over how you achieve your goals?

• Does your boss allow you to do your best work?
  • Do they encourage and support you? Are they willing to take responsibility or do you find ways to take credit and shift blame?

• Are you within a 3-5 year window to get a salary boost or promotion?
  • If not, you have a higher likelihood of a bigger title or salary by leaving.

• Does your daily work align with your long-term goals?
  • Where do you want to go professionally and does your current role give you the skills, exposure, and experiences to get you there?

Again, if you have at least 2-3 no’s, start exploring your options because your job is probably not working out. If you want more certainty around whether you should quit your job, see if these warning signs exist. If you have no idea what you want to do next in your career, take this course.

Inspired by Dan Pink’s When.

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I wish I could say no to everything that didn’t move me closer to my goals but it’s just not easy for me. I have a hard time saying no. I fear missing out on a life-changing opportunity or disappointing the people who come to me for help.

As I balance work, two young kids at home, and an Executive MBA, I find that I’m forced to prioritize and make trade-offs. One mindset shift that has helped me better manage requests is to view my time as a valuable currency that can be invested in activities.

Every request is a pitch for my time and as with all investment decisions, it’s important to do my due diligence. A few questions I find helpful to:

• Ask the person making the request:
  • Why did you come to me with this request?
  • What exactly do you need from me? By when?
  • Who else have you asked?
  • If the other person is my boss, I might ask:
    • How would you like me to prioritize this task?
    • What other projects should I delay or stop doing? 

• Ask myself:
  • Will this activity give me the most return towards one of my key goals or enhance a relationship I want to build?
  • What will I give up if I take this on? What are the opportunity costs? 
  • How else can I help this person without investing too much of my time?

Running through this checklist of questions allows me to slow down the decision process and hear the other person’s reasons for his or her request. If it’s a thoughtless request, it’ll be much easier to say no. If it’s an interesting or worthwhile ask, then I won’t feel guilty taking it on.

Managing my time as investable currency has helped me say no more easily and live life by design and not by default. Hopefully, if you have a hard time saying no, these questions can help you better manage the countless requests that come your way.

Inspired by Bill Jensen and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Photo by XoMEoX

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