The answer to this question has nothing to do with your job title and everything to do with your approach to your work and the experience you give to others.

So, how do you know if you’re a professional?

Ask yourself, “Do the key traits below describe me?”

Professionals:

Recover quickly from setbacks

When a professional makes a mistake, they don’t let it ruin their next shot. They have a strong ability to “reset” and clear their head to continue the performance. Some refer to this as GRIT. Are you able to bounce back quickly or do you let your first error spiral into many others?

Perform at a high-level no matter how they feel or where they are

World-class snipers train through exhaustion so they can perform under sub-optimal conditions. Can you deliver excellence despite being sick or under imperfect condition?

Professionals try to create perfect conditions through preparation and early arrival but are flexible and ready to perform under any condition they encounter. If you need everything to be perfect to perform well, unless you’re performing a death-defying stunt, you’re probably not a professional.

Strive for mastery and think about their craft

Professionals think about their craft from different angles and find ways to keep sharpening their skills. At first, they apprentice by copying the greats. Once they master the fundamentals, they push the outer limits of their craft and step into their own style and technique. How much do you think about HOW you do WHAT you do? What have you identified as areas of development?

Get paid well for the value they offer

Professionals are recognized and rewarded for their value. People pay doctors and lawyers a good fee for their services. Are you getting paid a wage where you can sustain both your living needs and wants?  If not, you’re not a professional, yet.

When learning, look for metaphors as opposed to memorize

I’ll let Seth Godin explain this one.

So, are you a pro or still an amateur? 

Photo by Sasha Kargaltsev

The post How to Tell the Difference Between Professionals and Amateurs appeared first on Robert Chen.

… ignore them.

(especially if they have not achieved success by your definition of success and if you know this is what you want to do.  If you’re not sure of what you want, go here.)

Now if people are telling you to quit, great news, you’re not alone. Here is a running list of successful people who were told they wouldn’t make it either:

• Walt Disney, Animator and Founder of Disney
  • Former employer thought “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.“
• Oprah Winfrey, Talkshow Host
  • Fired as a tv reporter because she was “unfit for TV“
• Fred Astaire, Actor and Dancer
  • Testing director at MGM – “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.”
• Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO
  • Business partners didn’t think Americans would pay for lattes and cappuccinos
• JK Rowlings, Writer (Harry Potter Series)
  • Rejected by 12 different publishers and told “not to quit her day job.“
• Elvis Presley, Singer – “King of Pop”
  • Told by the manager at Grand Ole Opry -“You ain’t going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck.“
• Sidney Poitier, Oscar-winning Actor
  • Casting director – “Why don’t you stop wasting people’s time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?”
• Stephen King, Writer
  • 30 rejections for Carrie, the book that launched his career
• Vincent Van Gogh, Painter
  • Sold only one painting during his lifetime
• Colonel Sanders, Founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken
  • Recipe rejected 1009 times
• Beatles, Music Band
  • Record executive -“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out“; “They have no future in show business.“
• F. Scott Fitzgerald, Writer
  • Book review headline for The Great Gatsby -“Fitzgerald’s Latest A Dud.“
• Michael Jordan, Basketball Player
  • Didn’t make high school basketball team
• Anderon Cooper, CNN Anchor
  • From previous colleagues in TV – “You’ll never be on air.“; “You’ll never be hired as a correspondent here.“
  • “Okay, so you are working for this little show that’s seen in high schools, but you’ll never get a job at a network”
• Graydon Carter, Editor of Vanity Fair
  • From a former boss – “Look, everyone really likes you, and you’re a wonderful person, but you’ll never make it in the magazine business. Maybe you should think about going into ad sales?”
• Arianna Huffington, Founder of Huffington Post
  • Skeptics – “A millionaire socialite who didn’t get the web.“; “this is simply unsurvivable.“
• Thomas Edison, Inventor
  • His teacher – “too stupid to learn anything.“
• Frank Geary, Architect
  • From a former architecture professor – “You will never make it in this field. Get out now or you’re just going to waste a lot of time.”
• Amy Tan, Writer
  • Her former business partner – “You’ll never make a dime writing.“
• Fred Smith, Founder of FedEx (shipping company)
  • His professor on his idea of reliable overnight shipping – “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.“
• Dr. Judah Folkman, Cancer Research Pioneer
  • His fellow scientists on his research – “You’re studying dirt.“

Others who have been told they wouldn’t make it (without naysayer quotes):

• Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin
• Bruce Springsteen, Singer – “The Boss”
• Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bodybuilder, Actor, Politician
• Maxine Clark, Founder of “Build-A-Bear”
• Sara Blakely, Founder of Spanx
• John Paul Dejoria, Founder of John Paul Mitchell and Patron Spirits
• WD-40 – took 40 tries to perfect the formula.

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there will always be someone to tell you that you are wrong.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Inspired by individual biographies, articles and Getting There: A Book of Mentors by Gillian Zoe Segal.

Bonus: And if you end up failing …

Source: OnlineMBAToday.com

Photo by hobvias sudoneighm

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As a high-performer, you strive to learn new and effective strategies to enhance your life both professionally and personally. As you pick up these skills and insights and gain positive results, you begin to notice when other people are lacking this knowledge or skill set. This awareness puts you in danger of becoming a snob and you are officially recognized as a snob when you begin to judge others as being less than you because they don’t know what you know or do what you do.

This often happens when people gain new knowledge and expertise. They learn “proper” table manners and begin to look down on others who don’t hold their forks correctly. They learn a new religious or cultural custom and begin to show disdain for those who break the custom. They laugh at those not properly dressed for the occasion. This feeling of superiority and lack of empathy for others can hurt not only your relationships but also people’s perception of you.

Another more nuanced way people unknowingly become snobs is when they feel compelled to share their new knowledge with those around them. They do so with the good intention of helping others and there is nothing wrong with sharing knowledge – it’s when and how you do it that decides whether the other person will see you as being helpful or as a snob.

So how can you avoid being a snob when you learn something new?

• Share your knowledge only if the other person wants to hear it – for some people, there is nothing more annoying than unsolicited advice
• Offer your newfound insights as an option to be chosen rather than a rule to be followed
• Understand that the new strategy, mindset or behavior you’re recommending may work for you, but not for others because everyone is different
• Even if experts agree that what you’re recommending is “better”, don’t make the other person feel inadequate by devaluing their views or calling them ignorant

One simple guideline that helps me internalize these tips:

Give the other person choice AND respect their choice.

Share your positive experience and leave it up to the other person to choose what they want to do with it. Don’t see them as ignorant or less of a person because they disagree with you or choose not to adopt what you see as the better way of working. Your sincere respect for others should be reflected in both your words and actions.

Another way to avoid sounding close-minded or elitist, is to stay away from the following words:

• Should
• Always
• Never

Because every one of us is unique, absolutes typically don’t work. To connect with others, acknowledge that we are all different yet equal and entitled to our beliefs and choices. Unfortunately, this point is easy to forget because society rewards certain behaviors and punishes others. What is “good”, “right” or “successful” depends heavily on the context you’re in.

A helpful way to thrive in this subjective world might be to assume that:

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve currently chosen to believe as truth.

This will bring out your empathetic side.

Give it a try next time you:

• See someone improperly dressed for an event
• Disagree with the ideas or policies of your firm’s leadership
• Interact with someone who is missing all of the social cues you’re sending

Final piece of advice to keep in mind:

Your truth is as legitimate as mine – opt to educate as opposed to convert.

Photo by Deutschen Theater Berlin

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“You have to be more visible.”

If you’re an introvert, you might have heard these two pieces of feedback before. And if you’re a high performer, they can be especially irksome. Speaking up just isn’t something you do. But be that as it may, failing to make your voice heard at pivotal moments might be hurting your career.

Most high-performing introverts tend to have good reasons for staying quiet during meetings and other situations where sharing their views would be helpful. In those cases, it first helps to figure out which of your assumptions are preventing you from contributing to the discussion.

Here are three of the most common reasons, and how to overcome them:

“I want to be respectful.”

Good intention: When you’re invited to a senior-level meeting, chances are you’re one of the more junior employees in the room. Your natural tendency might be to defer to those more senior to you and soak in the conversation since it’s not your place to talk. This deferential inclination is especially strong for individuals raised in cultures that respect and value hierarchy.

Unintended impact: Your deference causes you to become invisible in the meeting. When no one knows you, they don’t know what you can do and will not think of you come promotion time. After you reach a certain level, the number of senior executives who know you and have a good impression of you will directly correlate with your career success.

Practical Fix: Prepare to say something at the meeting. One senior executive shared with me that for every meeting he goes to, he’ll ask the person who invited him the following questions: who is going to be there, why has he been invited and what will we be discussing? He then takes time to prepare how he’ll add value to the conversation.

Understand that you can share your viewpoints and still be respectful. As long as you can contribute something substantive without overstepping your bounds or reaching beyond your knowledge base, you’ll be fine. For every meeting, strive to say at least one thing – you can ask a question, play back what you’ve heard or comment on what’s being said.

“I have nothing else to add.”

Good intention: Everything that needs to be said has already been shared. You hate it when others waste time saying nothing in meetings, so you refrain from talking for the sake of talking. If you’re a good listener and have a tendency to let others speak first, or if you’re on a team with a few dominant personalities, you’ll most likely fall into this category.

Unintended impact: Imagine seeing yourself from another attendee’s perspective. Even if you have the best ideas, someone who doesn’t know you will reasonably assume you don’t have any ideas as long as you don’t share them. Worse, you might be perceived as someone who doesn’t care. Neither one of these misperceptions will help you in your career, and it’s up to you to set them straight.

Practical Fix: Speak up earlier. If you wait until the end of the meeting, chances are someone else will already have shared your idea. Make it your goal to be one of the first two people to speak in the meeting. You might also want to observe those who speak up first, and note what they say and how they say it.

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

Good intention: You don’t want to appear incompetent in front of people who will judge you and have a say in your career. If you’re with a client, you may not want to say anything to jeopardize the deal or damage the relationship. Why not let your more senior and experienced colleagues handle it? Isn’t that why they are there in the first place?

Unintended impact: Your client sees you as the scribe or assistant and you never build the working relationship you need to get to the next level. For internal meetings, your boss thinks you don’t have a mind of your own and sees you more as an order-taker than an influencer.

Practical Fix: Before the meeting, ask your more senior colleagues what they want you to cover and how they want you to participate. This will help you decide when you can jump in during the meeting. You might also ask your senior colleagues to help pull you into the conversation for certain topics.

During the meeting, for every question that’s asked, come up with you answer silently and compare it to what your more senior colleagues are saying. As your answers begin to consistently align with what you hear, you’ll gain the confidence to speak up knowing that your responses will be on the right track.

Being invited to a senior-level meeting or a high stakes pitch are rare windows of opportunity showcase yourself. Don’t waste it. Prepare diligently for the meeting and be clear on the value you can add to the conversation. When you do share your views, make sure it’s concise, articulate and focused on the topic at hand. There is nothing more annoying than to hear someone trying to impress others or prove how smart or how hard-working they are.

Speaking up effectively is a delicate balance. If you don’t talk, no one knows you. If you talk too much, people begin to wonder, “Who do you think you are?”

To fine tune this balance, get feedback after a meeting wraps up. If your manager or mentor will be there, share with them beforehand that you’re working on speaking up and ask them to give you specific feedback and feedforward (suggestions for improvement) after. They’ll let you know if you need to speak up even more, or if you’re going overboard.

When it’s between speaking up or staying quiet, your habit will be to let others talk. Consciously take the risk to speak up whenever you can – the upside is tremendous and the downside is fairly limited.

Original version first published by Fast Company.

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When you show that you sincerely care, your clients can tell and will appreciate you for it with more business and referrals. Unfortunately, in most interactions, the natural tendency is to think more about what you want than how you might be able to help and care for your client.

Some quick ways to recognize when you’re more focused on yourself are:

• Impressing others by deliberately showing them how hard you work or how prepared or smart you are
• Hiding a mistake or blaming others to protect your image of perfection
• Defaulting to silence as opposed to asking a “dumb” question when you really don’t know
• Shying away from the dirty work that’s beyond your level or pay grade

To become memorable to your clients, you want to overcome three main fears that Patrick Lencioni outlines in his book, Getting Naked:

Fear of Losing the Business

No one likes losing business. That’s why it’s so natural to shy away from being the bearer of bad news even when it’s necessary. To set yourself apart, you want to focus less on your needs to win or keep the business and more on what will help your clients reach their outcomes. Let the goal of helping guide your actions. This may mean speaking up when you know something is wrong or sharing your best ideas even at the risk of your client/prospect using it as opposed to hiring you.

Fear of Being Embarrassed

Rarely will you find someone looking to embarrass themselves. That’s why we laugh at jokes we don’t understand when others are laughing and we stay quiet and nod when someone says something that we don’t fully understand. Those who are self-confident, know that it’s better to ask and be clear than to feign understanding and assume with uncertainty. Although you do run the risk of certain people judging you for a “bad” question, your clients are better off when you clearly understand what’s happening as opposed to appearing to understand.

The same goes for when you share your ideas as well. Better to suggest them and run the risk of it being shot down than not to share at all. Now if your ideas are constantly being criticized and rejected, you may have a competency issue.

Fear of Being Inferior

As a high-performer, you prepare hard to avoid mistakes and to rise above your competition. That’s why it’s difficult for you to be placed in a situation where you’re taking the blame for your client or doing the nitty-gritty work that you feel is beneath you. When it comes to serving your client, the main theme that helps you overcome all this fear and all of the other fears is to focus on your client. What does your client need from you right now and how can you give that to them.

One guiding principle that stuck with me from a Disney leadership workshop I attended is :

“It may not be our fault, but it is our problem.”

If you’re wired to look for and solve your client’s problems above all else, they’ll remember you for a long time.

Photo by Christopher Michel

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It’s hard to see others gain the successes you wish for yourself especially when you’re doing all you can and giving your best effort. Because you see and know everything that you’ve been doing, it’s natural to feel that you’re doing more than others yet not receiving the same rewards.

What you don’t see is their struggles and sacrifices to get to this point.

Because you don’t know enough about their situation to accurately benchmark yourself against them, you mistakenly compare their best results to all of your results – good and bad. Rarely will you win this lop-sided comparison.

Make life easier for yourself by:

• Comparing “present” you to “previous” you:
  • Are you a better and more successful person today than you were last week?
    • If not, what are you going to do about it?

• Compare comprehensively with others:
  • Look at and compare all facets of your life to all facets of the other person (for example: career, health, relationships, finances). If you still deem them more successful, imagine yourself in their shoes and ask yourself:
    • What would you have to do, give up and endure to achieve the success you see and will it be worthwhile for you?
      • If so, what’s the next step you can take right now to step into this role?
      • If this exercise is too much trouble for you to do, stop comparing.

Channel the energy of your frustration, disappointment and envy into taking action.

Photo by Jaap Joris

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When I asked a senior leader what his key to success was, he simply answered:

“I ask for what I want.”

Simple, straightforward and …

… surprisingly rare.

As a high performer, you might be used to other people tapping you on the shoulder for bigger opportunities, but as you continue to rise in your career, the shoulder tapping stops. Once you’re at a certain level, everyone is awesome and only the individuals who proactively ask for the right opportunities to develop their skills and profile will continue to rise to the highest levels.

So why aren’t more people asking for what they want?

Here are some common reasons:

Not Knowing It Is Possible

Many people don’t ask because they don’t realize asking is an option. We’re usually given a selection of items to choose from and we assume those are all the choices available to us. In some cases, that may be true but in many cases, it is not. The only way to find out is by asking for what you want.

See everything as being negotiable and begin making specific requests. To test this in a low stakes situation, go to any restaurant and ask for an option that is not on the menu and see what happens. You may be surprised.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

– Wayne Gretzky, Professional Hockey Player

Low Self-Esteem

When people don’t deem themselves as important, they see their requests in the same way. They don’t feel worthy of getting what they want and they stop themselves from asking through negative self-talk such as “who am I to ask for …” or “I’m not worth the trouble“.

This is dangerous thinking because it affects all aspects of your life (health, relationships, career, etc). To overcome this, understand that only you can determine what you are worth and that you are worth it. You deserve to live your best life and to do that, you need to ask for what you want.

When people deny your request, know that it is not personal and it’s not a reflection or confirmation of your worth. More often that not, people have their own reasons for saying “no” and it almost never has anything to do with you.

“You create your opportunities by asking for them“

– Shakti Gawain, Author

Limiting Assumptions

“I don’t want to appear weak or needy.”

“If they value me, I don’t have to ask.”

“No one cares.”

If you assume these statements to be true, then most likely you won’t ask for what you want. Instead, if you believe that:

“Only the powerful ask for what they want.”

“People value me but they can’t read my mind.”

“Everyone cares.”

Then you’ll probably be more inclined to be upfront with your requests.

There is no right or wrong when choosing your beliefs. You can choose the first set or the second set or create your own. Why not choose the set of beliefs that will allow you to live a happy life.

In life, the choice is always yours. Don’t let me or anyone else tell you what to believe and what is right. Collect information and decide on your own.

“If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

– Bruce Lee, Martial Artist and Actor

If you view asking for what you want as a form of empowerment, consider this approach:

• Ask confidently and specifically from someone who has the power to give you what you want.
• Always be respectful and understand that it is not personal when people tell you “no”.
• Be persistent and patient – ask someone else, choose a different time to ask, break your request down into smaller pieces.

No matter what you do and where you are, you’re going to be more effective if you begin asking for what you want.

So … what are you going to ask for today?

Photo by Mac Vincente

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