1. It’s as easy to do something big as it is to do something small, so reach for a fantasy worthy of your pursuit, with rewards commensurate to your effort.

• What are you working towards right now in your career? in life? If you achieve what you wanted, what rewards would come your way?
• How might you increase the size and scope of the goal you’re pursuing?

2. The best executives are made, not born. They never stop learning. Study the people and organizations in your life that have had enormous success. They offer a free course from the real world to help you improve.

• Which successful person are you learning from right now? Who has achieved the success you want to achieve?
• How can you continue to find high-quality people or resources to further your learning?

3. Write or call the people you admire, and ask for advice or a meeting. You never know who will be willing to meet with you. You may end up learning something important or form a connection you can leverage for the rest of your life. Meeting people early in life creates an unusual bond.

• Who can you reach out to today for advice or to connect?
• How will you make connecting with others a regular practice?  

4. There is nothing more interesting to people than their own problems. Think about what others are dealing with, and try to come up with ideas to help them. Almost anyone, however senior or important, is receptive to good ideas provided you are thoughtful.

• Think about the key people in your professional and personal networks. What problems are they grappling with right now? How might you be able to help them?
• Can you reach out to one of these people today to offer your ideas? 

5. Every business is a closed, integrated system with a set of distinct but interrelated parts. Great managers understand how each part works on its own and in relation to all the others.

• Do you understand every part of your business and how each part connects with each other? (Knowing your business has been advice echoed by Andrew Gorsky, Ken Chenault, and Mary Barra). 

6. Information is the most important asset in business. The more you know, the more perspectives you have, and the more likely you are to spot patterns and anomalies before your competition. So always be open to new inputs, whether they are people, experiences, or knowledge.

• What new experiences will you participate in to broaden your information base? List 3 specific new inputs for this month, this quarter, and this year.

7. When you’re young, only take a job that provides you with a steep learning curve and strong training. First jobs are foundational. Don’t take a job just because it seems prestigious.

• What new things are you learning from your job right now?
• If you’re not learning anything new, how can you adjust your role to get back to learning?

8. When presenting yourself, remember that impressions matter. The whole picture has to be right. Others will be watching for all sorts of clues and cues that tell who you are. Be on time. Be authentic. Be prepared

• What are you doing to manage the impressions people have of you? What clues and cues are you giving off to people? If you’re not sure how to manage this, this article on personal branding might help.

9. No one person, however smart, can solve every problem. But an army of smart people talking openly with one another will.

• Who are the smart people you talk to on a regular basis? If you can’t list anyone, what will you do to find these people? 

10. People in a tough spot often focus on their own problems, when the answer usually lies in fixing someone else’s.

• Whose problem can you help fix right now based on your skill set and resources?
• Can you take action today to fix someone else problem?

11. Believe in something greater than yourself and your personal needs. It can be your company, your country, or a duty for service. Any challenge you tackle that is inspired by your beliefs and core values will be worth it, regardless of whether you succeed or fail.

• What are your beliefs and core values? (This pdf and this article might help if you’re not sure.)
• What is the greater cause you’re striving for?

12. Never deviate from your sense of right and wrong. Your integrity must be unquestionable. It is easy to do what’s right when you don’t have to write a check or suffer any consequences. It’s harder when you have to give something up. Always do what you say you will, and never mislead anyone for your own advantage.

• Over the last 3 months, what situations have tested your integrity? What did you end up doing in those situations?
• What investments or sacrifices have you made over the last 12 months because it was the right thing to do?

13. Be bold. Successful entrepreneurs, managers, and individuals have the confidence and courage to act when the moment seems right. They accept risk when others are cautious and take action when everyone else is frozen, but they do so smartly. This trait is the mark of a leader.

• What is the last bold thing you did in the past 6 months? 
• What are you doing now to help you take quick action when the moment is right?

14. Never get complacent. Nothing is forever. Whether it is an individual or a business, your competition will defeat you if you are not constantly seeking ways to reinvent and improve yourself. Organizations, especially, are more fragile than you think.

• What are the specific things you’re doing right now to reinvent and improve yourself and your organization? 
• What are the inputs that have you decide what to improve/reinvent?

15. Sales rarely get made on the first pitch. Just because you believe in something doesn’t mean everyone else will. You need to be able to sell your vision with conviction over and over again. Most people don’t like change, so you need to be able to convince them why they should accept it. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

• What vision would you like to sell to people?
• When was the last time you sold this vision or ask people for what you want? How are you selling that vision right now?
• Who is one person you can pitch this week?

16. If you see a huge, transformative opportunity, don’t worry that no one else is pursuing it. You might be seeing something others don’t. The harder the problem is, the more limited the competition, and the greater the reward for whomever can solve it.

• What transformative opportunity do you see?
• What is one thing you can do now to capitalize on that opportunity?

17. Success comes down to rare moments of opportunity. Be open, alert, and ready to seize them. Gather the right people and resources; then commit. If you’re not prepared to apply that kind of effort, either the opportunity isn’t as compelling as you think or you are not the right person to pursue it.

• Are you connected to the right people and resources? How can you secure enough “dry powder” to take advantage of the opportunities when they come?

18. Time wounds all deals, sometimes even fatally. Often the longer you wait, the more surprises await you. In tough negotiations especially, keep everyone at the table long enough to reach an agreement.

• If you’re in an active deal or negotiation right now, what can you do to close the deal so both parties are taken care of?
• What might you be doing that needlessly jeopardizes the deal? 

19. Don’t lose money!!! Objectively assess the risks of every opportunity.

• Do you have a good process to objectively assess risk? 

20. Make decisions when you are ready, not under pressure. Others will always push you to make a decision for their own purposes, internal politics, or some other external need. But you can almost always say, “I think I need a little more time to think about this. I’ll get back to you.” This tactic is very effective at defusing even the most difficult and uncomfortable situations.

• What decisions do you have to make right now? 
• Which ones can you make faster and which ones should you slow down?
• What is your decision-making process? (see rule #22)

21. Worrying is an active, liberating activity. If channeled appropriately, it allows you to articulate the downside in any situation and drives you to take action to avoid it.

• What might be worth worrying about? 
• Are you worrying in a productive way?

22. Failure is the best teacher in an organization. Talk about failures openly and objectively. Analyze what went wrong. You will learn new rules for decision making and organizational behavior. If evaluated well, failures have the potential to change the course of any organization and make it more successful in the future.

• What was your last failure? What did you learn? (Growth mindset book summary might be helpful)
• How recent was your last failure?

23. Hire 10s whenever you can. They are proactive about sensing problems, designing solutions, and taking a business in new directions. They also attract and hire other 10s. You can always build something around a 10.

• How many 10s are you working with right now? 
• Who are the 10s in your network? 
• Where can you find 10s in you need to recruit them?

24. Be there for the people you know to be good, even when everyone else is walking away. Anyone can end up in a tough situation. A random act of kindness in someone’s time of need can change the course of a life and create an unexpected friendship or loyalty.

• Who can you be kind to right now?

25. Everyone has dreams. Do what you can to help others achieve theirs.

• What are the dreams of the people close to you? Can you do one thing to move them forward in those dreams? 

Take some time and answer the questions for each of these rules. Then take action aligned with your responses. One action I’ll take to support you in your dreams is to offer you the e-book version of my Dreams to Reality Fieldbook free. Just email me and we’ll send a copy over to you. 

The post 25 Rules for Work and Life from Stephen Schwarzman, CEO of Blackstone appeared first on Robert Chen.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.

Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

– Rumi, Persian Poet, Theologian and Scholar

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Exercise for your future health? Continuous learning for your future career moves? Time spent with your loved ones for your future relationships?

 

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

– Abraham Lincoln, American President

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I was catching up with one of my fellow partners after a heated meeting and I found myself apologizing for pushing the team harder than they want to be pushed.

He responded, “Robert, next time, think about this apology before you do what you do. Either don’t push people hard or don’t apologize for it if you feel justified to do so. It’s not effective leadership to keep doing the same thing and apologizing for it.”

This brief comment has been effective in reminding me to think before I act. It has helped me be more purposeful to avoid actions that would require an apology in the future. It has also given me the courage to not apologize for behaviors I don’t feel are wrong.

If you find yourself apologizing frequently for being late, not responding, or being unprepared, think about your apology before you decide to leave your house 15 minutes later, put off an email request, or decide to wing it.

What do you find yourself typically apologizing for?

Photo by Matthew Henry

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Speak your mind when it adds value

Sol credits his meteoric rise to his brashness and courage to speak his mind. Early in his career, he spoke up about a product’s lack of effectiveness at an executive committee meeting. This got him noticed by the chairman who put him in charge of fixing the problem. He encourages anyone who has an idea that adds value to the company to speak up and to share those thoughts. When asked how he mustered the courage to do that, he said, “I didn’t know any better“. To help you decide when to speak up, ask yourself, “Is there something important that should be said that’s not being said right now?”

Look at everything and learn constantly

Sol cautions that if you do speak your mind, make sure you know what you’re talking about. He strongly believes that amassing knowledge is key to being successful. Whether it’s reading books and journals, listening to key experts, or studying with an institution, find ways to get up to speed on your business. The more knowledgeable you are, the better off you’ll be. This echoes advice from both Alex Gorsky, CEO of J&J, and Mary Barra, CEO of GM. Looking into everything doesn’t mean you’re going to get into the details every time, it means being adept at navigating a conversation at 50,000 feet and at 50 feet when needed.

Understand the rules of the game

Sol recognized early on that the rules of the game in business were not created for a Latino. Although he would be justified to be mad at the unfairness of the system, he knew that would be counterproductive. He understood that for him to win, he’ll need to be 5 to 10 times better than his peers. He also wanted to stay committed to his family so instead of going for rounds of golf, he threw himself into working hard on the business and spent his energy getting better as opposed to wishing the world around him was different.

Get good feedback

“Feedback is really good if you take it and learn from it” – Sol emphasized this point as one of the core factors for how he has been able to sustain his success. As he was rising in his career, he received feedback on his brashness and was able to learn how to get people to perform without the harshness he was using to communicate his expectations. What feedback are you getting from others? What feedback can you give to yourself?

Innovate to grow and compete

When Ken Chenault, former CEO of American Express, spoke at this same conference last year, he said, “if you’re not moving, you’re falling back.” Sol had a similar message where he stresses that every leader must consider two D’s – Digital and Diversity. He talked about the importance to adapt to new technologies and set up a team that allows you to diagnose a problem from different perspectives. To get buy-in for innovation, you must show conviction, passion, and knowledge about the Why and clear thinking about the What. 

What impressed me most about Sol was his courage to stand up for what is right. During his CEO role at Telstra, he faced a number of racist encounters around his Mexican heritage. When his wife asked him why he doesn’t just quit and pursue easier opportunities, he said it’s exactly because of these incidents that he could not quit and didn’t want to allow such ignorance to scare him off.

Photo from Morgan Stanley Senior Multicultural Conference #SMLC19

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What are you willing to do now that others are not willing to do? These actions and sacrifices will be what separates you from them in the future.

 

“Today I will do what others won’t so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

– Jerry Rice, American Football All Star

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Walmart’s phenomenal growth wasn’t because of some secret sauce or tremendous luck, but rather it stems from a consistent application of hard work, continuous improvement, grit, client service, and strong financial management.

If you’re interested in building a sustainable business or career, apply Sam Walton’s 10 rules for success:

1. Commit to your business

Find something you’re passionate about and stick to it. If you’re a top performer, you’ll have many options and it’s easy to be enticed by the different opportunities that come your way. Resist the bright shiny objects in your career path and commit to your life’s work.

If you’re not sure what that work might be or what you’re passionate about, sign up for my free Know What You Want course. It’ll get you moving in the right direction.

Once you commit, be biased towards taking action and expect to win. When you are optimistic about your chances to succeed, it makes it easier for you to be resourceful and to persist until you win.

2. Partner with your team

To succeed, it’s paramount for your employees, peers, and stakeholders to be invested in you and your company or project. To get their buy-in, find ways to share credit and profits with your team so they feel better off when you and the firm are doing well. People follow leaders who will leave them better off.

Walton echoes British entrepreneur Richard Branson, “If you take care of your employees, they will take care of the clients.”

3. Challenge your team

To build a world-class firm or career, set high goals and expectations for yourself and those around you. Encourage competition and find ways to keep the score to build accountability. Value hard work, innovation, and integrity and build teams that exude similar values.

As you institutionalize best practices, don’t be too predictable. Always keep things moving forward so your people and firm stay fresh. To hold people accountable, identify measurable performance indicators that connect to the value added to the firm.

4. Communicate openly and thoroughly to your team

Proactively empower your team by being transparent and sharing important information about the business. The more your people know the more they will understand how to focus their energy on the right things. Sam Walton believed the value for empowering your employees far outweigh the risk of competitors gaining access to the inner workings of your business.

Communicate often through staff meetings and written updates. Use these touch points to share information in a timely manner, provide a sounding board to your people, and boost your team’s morale.

5. Appreciate everything your people do for you and the business

It never hurts to be thankful.

To effectively show gratitude, be observant and notice when those around you are doing the right things. Then depending on the person, show appreciation either publicly or privately to recognize their specific actions. Specificity shows people you’re paying attention, which also shows that you care.

6. Celebrate your successes (and failures)

When you reach the top of the mountain you’ve decided to climb, take time to soak it in and celebrate. Reflect on what you did right and what you could do better. Thank all the people who helped you achieve your success and share credit with the people involved.

When you fail, take responsibility but don’t take yourself too seriously. Find humor in the situation and have fun. If you’re in a business you’re passionate about (see #1), know that any setback is only a small part of your overall journey. As long as you learn from your failures, each one will be a building block for your future success.

7. Listen to everyone

To be successful, find ways to listen to everything that’s going around you – in your department, company, and industry. Build trust with people around you so they open up to you and feel safe to share what they see is happening. If you have employees who report to you, push power down and pull info and ideas up. When you hear great ideas, share them with others in the firm.

Throughout his career, Sam would often visit his competitors to learn from their best practices and implement them in his stores. Sam’s Club was a direct result of listening to his competitors. Don’t be afraid to build on what others are doing. Everyone has a lesson to teach you.

8. Exceed your clients’ expectations

Give the people you serve what they want and a little more. This means constantly updating your understanding of what matters to your clients. Show that you appreciate them. When you make a mistake, apologize, and don’t make excuses. Just fix the issue and make good on your mistake.

Your business and career grow because your clients support you. Keep looking for ways to serve your customers better than anyone else. What else can you do to guarantee your client’s satisfaction?

9. Control your expenses better than your competition

If you want to succeed in business and in life, manage your finances and operations effectively. Whether it’s your company, department, or project, the ability to understand the drivers of your business and create sustainable profits is what will boost your value to the company.

If you’re not sure how to read financial statements or manage a P&L, take a class or consider an MBA. If you don’t, you won’t be able to compete and competition is unavoidable. To win, be passionate about competing and compete to win.

10. Swim upstream

When you feel strongly about a trend or idea, stick to your convictions even if it means going against the crowd. Leaders lead by changing and improving the status quo. Anytime you’re leading change, there will be dissuaders.

Keep an open mind and don’t be afraid to change your mind if you realize you’re wrong.

If you’re passionate about being successful, take inventory on how you’re doing on these 10 tips. If you found these ideas useful, consider tips from these other top CEOs – Ken Chenault (American Express), Alex Gorsky (Johnson and Johnson), and Mary Barra (General Motors).

The post 10 Reasons for Walmart’s Success – Sam Walton: Made in America appeared first on Robert Chen.

These were the questions I asked myself during Professor Stew Friedman’s Total Leadership program at Wharton. What attracted me to take this course was Stew’s concept that work-life balance doesn’t work because it implies having to make trade-offs. Instead of managing life as slices of a pie that gets smaller or bigger at the expense of each other, his alternative was to consider different areas of your life as independent circles that can potentially overlap with each other.

This new construct helped me unlock the creativity to better optimize my life and it has transformed the way I live and work.

Before this course, I felt at the whim of my goals and the needs of my stakeholders. I felt forced to make tradeoffs in one area of my life because of the demands of another area and instead of leading my life, it was leading me. The process I learned in this live workshop with peer coaching helped me gain control over the important areas of my life. You’ll see below five insights that might be helpful to you as you think about leading all areas of your life:

Lead Your Life: Don’t Use One Area of Your Life to Make Excuses for Another Area

Before this program, I would often feel guilty that I did not get home early enough to spend time with my kids. I would use work as my excuse and rationalize that now is the time to focus on my career and once I’ve “made it”, I can carve out more time for family. Along the same vein, I would use my two young sons as the excuse for not exercising. I would tell myself, “How can I afford to work out if I don’t even have enough time to spend with my kids?” Then I would use the time I needed for work, school, family, and exercise to justify why I slept on average only five hours each night.

I found myself often saying how much I wanted to do these things but explaining how I couldn’t because of the many legitimate excuses that I had. Looking back, that was a weak way of living. This experience has taught me to either do what I say is important to do or stop saying it’s important to me. Either way is fine but continuing to make excuses is not.

As part of this course, we all conducted personal experiments. For my experiments, I committed to getting 7+ hours of sleep, getting home before 7pm during most of the work week, and exercising daily, which included running 2x a week. I was initially skeptical since I’ve had so many false starts trying to implement similar positive habits but I’m excited to share that so far I’ve not only sustained these habits but I just completed my first half-marathon after never running a race in the past.

What made the difference this time was clarifying the vision I wanted for my life and taking control to bring that vision to life. Essentially, leading myself to where I wanted to go.

Sleep Really Matters

I was lucky to choose sleeping 7+ hours as one of my experiments because there was no habit change that yielded faster and more drastic results than getting 7+ hours of sleep. I used to subscribe to the “you can sleep when you retire” and “I’m successful because I work harder and longer than everyone else” mantra. I’m beginning to see the fault in this thinking and realizing that I may have spun my wheels more often than I am aware of or care to admit.

After consistently getting 7+ hours of sleep, I noticed my mood becoming more positive and relaxed. What surprised me the most was that I immediately stopped craving coffee (I was drinking about 2-3 cups a day for the last few years).

I also found sleeping sufficiently a linchpin habit. The days when I was well rested, I almost always completed every other habit change along with my work and school goal for that day. It allowed me to exercise more self-control and discipline.

Create Constraints to Force Creativity

Forcing myself to get home early, sleep enough hours, and exercise daily meant taking time away from other areas of my life, especially work. Initially, I was worried I wouldn’t get my work done leading to adverse consequences. What I found instead was the most important work was still getting done and since my deadlines were tighter, I became more effective with my time. Having less time for work began to prevent me from over-engineering my work and school projects.

It also helped me to be more creative about my time. Instead of agreeing to drinks or dinner with a client, I would offer to meet for breakfast or lunch so I can keep my commitment to get home early. I started running and working out with other people as a great way to catch up with them. Interestingly, by creating constraints and forcing myself to keep these new habits, the quality of my life has increased at home and at work.

Be the Building Block for Other People’s Goals

One of the key exercises in the Total Leadership process was to set up conversations with the most important stakeholders in the different areas of your life. The goal is to ask your stakeholders about their expectations for you and how you’re doing in meeting those expectations.

Holding these conversations, I realized that I often see people around me as building blocks to my success and drive our interactions in the direction of my agenda and accomplishing my goals. Hearing people’s expectations of me have made me realize that other people have their own needs and aspirations and to create long-term, positive relationships with them, I need to be the building block for their goals and success.

If you want people to see you as a leader, they first have to recognize that their life will be better because they follow you. There is no better way to do that than to become a critical part in their quest for success and meaning.

Grow the Relationships You Take for Granted

Every year I have clear goals to improve and to grow my career. It seems like the natural thing to do. What’s interesting is when I reflect on my closest relationships, I don’t have the same aspirational tendency. I don’t think about growing these relationships and at best, the relationship stays where it is. The only time I pay attention is when the relationship gets strained and I spend just enough energy to get it back to the original level.

Applying the same growth mentality from my career to my personal relationships, I asked my wife, family, and others close to me what we needed to do to take our relationship to the next level. Just by having these conversations, my key relationships are beginning to thrive and grow and it’s having a positive impact on other areas of my life. When you ask people about their needs and truly listen, they often become open to sincerely understanding your needs. Another benefit to this exercise is it allows you to decide which relationships may not be worth investing in because the other person doesn’t want to engage.

To start this journey, craft the vision for your life and clarify your values. You choose the life you want to have and the key idea is to align your actions to bringing to life your vision. Stay attuned to how you’re tracking to your vision and continue iterating with experiments to find overlap in the different circles of your life.

If you would like to dive in deeper, check out Stew’s Total Leadership book, which outlines the exercises in his process. You can also take the Coursera version of the course.

Photo by Brooke Lark

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His practical and authentic lessons show why Ken is one of the most successful and respected CEOs of our time. As you read his insights below, you’ll see that he really means it when he says, “It is a privilege, not an entitlement, to lead.” An excellent reminder for anyone who leads or aspires to lead their organization.

Be Compassionate and Decisive

Great leaders understand that it’s important to take care of their people and stay accountable to the business when they make decisions. Leaders sometimes shy away from compassion because they confuse it with being indecisive or unable to make tough decisions. Ken showed his ability to balance these two qualities as he recounted the tough decision he made to lay off 15,000 employees after the economic downturn.

He believes that in these tough situations, people don’t deserve what’s happening to them but the circumstances demand it. In these critical moments, it’s up to leaders to show that they care and to take care of their people. Despite having to make this difficult but necessary business decision, Ken displayed compassion by devoting resources to help displaced employees find new jobs and opportunities. He held his executive team responsible for employee engagement and tied their compensation to an employee satisfaction survey sent to both existing employees and those who were let go. His actions during this time were given high ratings by both these groups. Ken reminded all of us that leaders who fail to take care of the business and its people will lose their privilege to lead.

Constantly challenge the status quo

“If you’re not moving, you’re falling back”. Ken stressed the importance of being innovative and striving to become the company that will put your current company out of business. He argued that it is not just about managing competitive threats, it’s about understanding what customers want and to focus the firm on better serving those needs. His litmus test for whether a leader or company is serious about innovation – look at the organization’s actions and the size of their R&D investments.

Know and run your business well

“Stay liquid, be profitable, and selectively invest in growth.” This fundamental lesson has come up in talks from both Alex Gorsky, CEO of Johnson and Johnson, and Mary Barra, CEO of GM. It’s worth paying attention to and as a leader, Ken believes that it is your job to think through the consequences of your decisions. As echoed in billionaire investor Ray Dalio’s Principles, you want to have a strong sense of your reality and go beyond 1st order consequences. The ability to look at the 2nd and 3rd order impact of your decisions will help you better lead your organization and yourself.

Strive to be a better leader, not to be CEO  

Ken never aspired to be CEO when he first agreed to work for American Express until he was approached with the possibility later in his career. He just focused on adding value to the company. If you are great at what you do and ambitious, you are probably on the fast track to the top. Once you recognize that, it is easy to play it safe and be more calculated and self-focused in your approach. Avoid this tendency. Don’t be a “maintainer” – keep taking risks and focus on helping the company and those around you succeed.

It is hard to get 1) the top spot if you’re just managing what already exists and 2) people to follow you if they feel like your actions are just about you and forwarding your agenda. No one cares if you get promoted unless it helps them achieve their goals.

Place a high premium on integrity and trust

Ken values these two qualities above many others because they are the basis for forming your reputation inside and outside your company. Periodically ask yourself,

“How consistent are my words and actions?”

Your answer to this question will tell you whether you are leading your life or your life is leading you. Ken ends his talk by emphasizing that all leaders should clarify their values and know their priorities. What do you live for? What’s the inspiring vision you have for your life?

Ken’s vision for himself is to “be successful as a person who stands for something”. What’s yours?

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Despite varying and sometimes contradicting perspectives on how best to succeed professionally, most leaders agree that a mentor is one of the most valuable people to have on your career journey. Unfortunately, if you’re not sure how to set up and manage this relationship, it can be a waste of everyone’s time. The good news is being a great mentor and mentee is not too hard if you’re serious about it.

The first step to a strong mentoring relationship is setting clear expectations and ground rules. What are the agreed-upon goals for this relationship? How often will you meet and for how long? What will happen when your goals are accomplished?

Once everyone agrees on what’s expected, keep in mind the following role-specific tips:

For Mentors:

As a mentor, your job is to add value to your mentee’s professional life by encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone and marshaling your resources to help them. Your help might come in the form of insightful advice, honest feedback or a connection to someone in your network.

To be a great mentor, be:

• Worthy: Practice what you preach so your mentee will benefit just from observing and interacting with you. Listen closely to the expectations and goals of your potential mentee. Be upfront about whether you can really help. If you haven’t walked the path that your mentee wants to take, you might be better off declining the relationship.
• Available: Your mentee will need you most during difficult and uncertain times. It’s difficult to know when those times will be. If your schedule doesn’t allow you the flexibility to connect with your mentee when he or she needs you, you might want to reconsider being a mentor.
• Caring: If you’re mentoring to check the “I’m mentoring others” box or because you think the mentor label will look good to other people, your mentoring relationship will probably fizzle out soon after it starts. See mentoring as a gift from the other person to you as opposed to a gift from you to them.

One of the most impactful actions a mentor can take is to give confidence to your mentees and help them see that they can perform beyond what they thought possible. In Hamilton: The Musical, George Washington models this by empowering Alexander Hamilton with the line “I know that greatness lies in you.” Try that line with your mentee.

For Mentees:

As a mentee, your job is to make your mentors glad that they’ve decided to work with you. You do this by taking their advice, helping them see your progress and making their lives easier. A few ways to do that is to be:

• Teachable: If you fight or disregard every idea your mentor shares with you, they will disengage. Be open to what you hear and give it shot before you say no or make excuses.
• Prepared: Set an agenda, ask specific questions relevant to your goals and show what you’ve done and learned
• Accountable: Follow through and do what you say you’ll do, then set the next meeting. If your mentor has to chase you to get an update, you’re making them work too hard.

When looking for a mentor, remember this Chinese proverb,

“To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” 

Find mentors who are just one or two steps ahead of you so they can give you practical advice. The idea is to find someone experienced, available and willing so they can invest meaningfully in this relationship. You can still network with people much more senior to you and ask them to mentor you, but just remember the path they’ve taken may no longer exist and they may have trouble relating to your challenges.

Get mentors for different areas of your life. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and ask yourself whether the person you want to mentor you excels in the area you want mentoring in.

The hardest part is actually getting a great mentor to say yes. To get the attention of mentors, show that you’re worth investing in by showing resourcefulness, exuding a strong work ethic and doing great things. It’s much easier to say yes to you if the other person is excited about contributing to your success.

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