For those who have never worked from home before now, you’ll want to prepare by doing the following:

Take inventory (literally) of what you need to effectively do your job

At first, it’s easy to think that if you’ve got your laptop, you’re all set. Before making this assumption, take a moment to really think about how you work and the important tasks you need to get done. What files do you need to access? Do you need to print physical copies or ship things overnight? What else do you use to perform your job well and independently?

If your job requires you to collaborate with others often, figure out how you might replicate those work channels. Will you use Microsoft Teams, WhatsApp, Zoom, or other platforms? And, keep in mind that this isn’t your decision alone. You may need to decide as a team which platform works best for everyone.

Ensure you have a strong virtual presence

Just like you wouldn’t show up to work disheveled, make sure your virtual presence is equally put together. Does your home workspace reflect how you want people to see you? What, exactly, do people experience when they watch you “through the lens”? Here are some questions to consider: Are you dressed appropriately? Is your sound quality strong? Is your camera lighting and set up effective? Is there a risk of annoying or unexpected background noise?

If you are working in your personal space, control the frame that people see. Perhaps you’ll want to move your laundry basket out of the frame. How about that wine bottle you keep on the counter behind you? Remove anything you’d rather others not see. Since it’s a best practice to turn on your camera, the excuse that your webcam is not working will only last for so long.

Create an environment that is easy to work in

Most of us separate our work lives from our home lives and our environment reflects that. If you’re not used to working from home, your home may be filled with distractions. To ensure your own effectiveness, find ways to create a workspace that blocks out those distractions.

Since NYC just closed schools, I have two young kids running around the house. If you can get help from a relative or a babysitter to watch them during key work hours, great! If you and your spouse are both working from home, consider staggering work call times with your spouse in case you need to take turns keeping the kids busy. If you are alone, manage the expectations of your clients and colleagues as you figure out a longer-term solution.

Another practical tip from my colleagues who work 100% remote is to structure your day so you can settle into a regular routine. Decide specific times when your workday starts and ends. Schedule breaks throughout the day since it’ll be unlikely your colleagues will drop by your desk to give you a “natural” break. For some of you with chatty colleagues, this might be a perk.

Stay close and connected

When you work from home, you are increasing the distance on three dimensions – physical, operational, relational. Your goal is to understand how those distances impact you and how you can best minimize them. My colleague, Neha Ratnakar, shares 6 ways to reduce these distances in this article.

If you manage people, proactively connect with your team regularly. Schedule 1-on-1s and periodic check-ins. This is especially important if you typically check in with your team by just dropping by their offices. You may find yourself less able to catch physical cues when someone is not feeling their best. When we’re in the same office and we see someone feeling down, we ask, “Is everything ok?” This is so much harder to pick up on when we’re virtual. Remember to include small talk in your virtual meetings so you stay connected at all levels with your teammates.

Be clear about expectations

Although technology has come a long way to help us effectively engage in remote settings, our productivity is still dependent on the nature of our work and our own comfort level using these technologies. Since it’s easy to assume that we can quickly convert our in-person productivity to virtual, you’ll want to take a step back and ask yourself whether that’s true.

Have a conversation about what is the expected output now that you’re working from home. If you manage others, discuss your expectations and make sure they are realistic. You might also want to leverage email more to make things clear. Consider following up after meetings with a quick email summary of the conversation and confirm your understanding of Who does What by When. For right now, you may also want to add How, at least until we all have a better sense of how to work effectively in this new normal.

There is a lot to think about and this transition can be stress-inducing. You may find that you are less active working from home than you were in the office. Keep up your exercise routine and if you can’t go to the gym because of social distancing, then take a walk or go for a run. On the positive side, if you have a tiring commute or hectic morning routine, you may find that working from home gives you more flexibility and time with family. If you become adept at working remotely, you may also be broadening your career opportunities.

Photo by Bench Accounting

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Below is a list of useful resources I often review and send to high performers who want to continually improve themselves:

Leading People and Organizations

• Mindsets and practices of the best CEOs (McKinsey – pdf version)

• What makes an effective executive (Harvard Business Review)

• Google’s new manager training (facilitator guide, slides, and workbook)

• An atlas of strategy traps (Boston Consulting Group)

• What makes a leader (Harvard Business Review – pdf version)

Communicating Effectively

• Think fast, talk smart (video – Stanford Graduate School of Business)

• Three strategies for introverts to speak up in meetings (Fast Company)

• How to have difficult conversations and stay true to yourself (Lean In – guide)

• A plain English handbook (pdf – Securities and Exchange Commission)

Managing Your Career

• How to pick a career (that actually fits you) (Wait but Why)

• Top 10 practical tips for managing up (LinkedIn)

• The brand called You (Fast Company)

• Why you hate work (NY Times)

Mastering Yourself

• Managing oneself (Harvard Business Review – summary)

• How to get strong (NY Times)

• Why procrastinators procrastinate (Wait but Why)

• How to find a hobby (NY Times)

If you want to go beyond articles and dive deeper into any one of these topics, check out Robert’s book recommendations. If you know of other highly practical resources that you reference frequently, feel free to send them to us or share them in the comments section.

Photo by Syd Wachs

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If you’re aspiring to join the C-suite and beyond, the tips below may help:

Speak effectively about your work

All candidates considered for senior-level roles are qualified. The biggest differentiator is your ability to effectively communicate the work you’re doing. You want to educate others about your accomplishments in a memorable and likable way.  Learn to be a spokesperson for the amazing work you’ve done and share the lessons learned that can help others in the organization. Avoid the trap of focusing only on the pursuit and execution of your goals without communicating the results you’re achieving.

Executive recruiters can’t extract the complexity of what you’ve done from your resume without your narration. Recruiters for senior-level positions expect a healthy list of impactful accomplishments. On-time and on-budget are no longer enough. What grabs their attention is the candidate who can go beyond WHAT they accomplished and articulate HOW they accomplished it.

• Can you clearly demonstrate your ability to bring people along with you?
• Did your relationships deepen after the assignment or did people want to lean away from you?
• How did you drive transformation and what was the specific business impact?

Get personal

One of the board directors at the session mentioned that she was passed up for a C-suite level role because her board didn’t “know her”. She recognized that she only talked about business with the board and skipped the relational stuff, worrying that the board directors were too senior for small talk. Since then, she’s made the time to connect more personally with these important decision-makers and not only did she make it to the top job at her firm, she’s now an independent director on several public and private boards.

Stay connected and be helpful

If you are shooting for a C-suite role, what are you doing to get relevant face time with individuals who are exposed to high-level opportunities? To get in front of key decision-makers, find time to reconnect with senior-level contacts in your industry, grab lunch with executive recruiters, or join a non-profit board. Once you do connect, deepen your impression by finding ways to authentically help the people around you. Sponsors and mentors are also critical. If you don’t have any, that’s a warning sign. According to one executive, if you want others to advocate for you, first, they must like you. Then they must believe you generate good ideas. And lastly, they must believe you can execute.

Take the high-visibility assignments

To get noticed in your organization, work on projects and initiatives that matter. This will probably mean taking a risk that’s outside your comfort zone. Figure out what is keeping your executives up at night and volunteer to help solve their problem. Remember that for senior-level projects, you can’t win by yourself since the scope of your projects will likely be enterprise-wide. You’ll need to work with others to succeed and build a track record of delivering results. What are you doing now to build up your influence structure to succeed across your organization?

Understand and assimilate key trends

In the past, recruiters were looking for leaders who were decisive and could make tough calls. Now, they are also looking for softer skills – the ability to relate to the workforce and think about diversity, to name a few. As an aspiring leader, you should focus on the business impact of prevailing trends. How will artificial intelligence change the profit and loss equation? How do you think through your investments around cybersecurity? How do you leverage international assignments to add value to your company? How does diversity impact your organization?

Focus on Employability as opposed to Employment

When you’re assessing professional opportunities, think about the skills you need to enhance your employability. Don’t get hung up on a particular function, job track, or title. Leverage your current role to improve how you add value and leave the role better than when you found it. Find ways to build core business skills, connect with key stakeholders, and raise your public profile. You want your boss to know that you’re agile and an asset to any employer. Summed up memorably by one of our senior speakers,

“I love you and the organization. But please don’t confuse that with needing you and the organization.” 

Play politics well

In most companies, politics exist because you have limited resources and competing motivations. At the most senior levels, this dynamic is supercharged because ambitions are bigger, and all the players are good at getting what they want. If you’re not willing to play politics, you’ll be a victim of politics. Learn to read the people around you. Are they looking out for themselves or looking out for the organization? What makes them tick?

One board director recalled the importance of asserting yourself without making others look bad. She recounted a time when someone was claiming credit for her work and instead of calling it out, she found it very effective to play dumb. Instead of, “Why are you taking credit for my work?“, she said, “I heard this was represented in this way. Is there anything I can clarify to help you move forward with your goals?” The other person got the message.

Rising to the pinnacle of your organization is not easy but if you can speak effectively about your work, build authentic relationships, and help others achieve their goals, you’ll have a good shot.

Photo by Benjamin Child

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I was catching up with one of my fellow partners after a heated meeting and I found myself apologizing for pushing the team harder than they want to be pushed.

He responded, “Robert, next time, think about this apology before you do what you do. Either don’t push people hard or don’t apologize for it if you feel justified to do so. It’s not effective leadership to keep doing the same thing and apologizing for it.”

This brief comment has been effective in reminding me to think before I act. It has helped me be more purposeful to avoid actions that would require an apology in the future. It has also given me the courage to not apologize for behaviors I don’t feel are wrong.

If you find yourself apologizing frequently for being late, not responding, or being unprepared, think about your apology before you decide to leave your house 15 minutes later, put off an email request, or decide to wing it.

What do you find yourself typically apologizing for?

Photo by Matthew Henry

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Indra mentioned that as a minority (woman and Indian) employee, her work is often discounted. She was able to get to parity by showcasing her competence and being more prepared than anyone else. This need to perform above and beyond just to be considered was echoed by Sol Trujillo, former CEO of Telstra, US West, and Orange.

In addition to being competent, Dr. Nooyi offers the following career advice:

“Invest in communication skills”

As she reflects on the success factors for her career, she emphasized that “packaging is important”. Being able to navigate a difficult problem and meeting and to influence stakeholders to be on board with your ideas are core leadership skills. Confidence is perceived as competence and if you want to be taken seriously, you need to communicate impactfully.

How are you honing your communication skills? What does your packaging say about you?

“Put your hand up for the most difficult assignments …”

“… and deliver on it.“ You’re not going to get the right visibility by fixing easy situations. If you want to get noticed, make positive things happen in challenging areas. Just make sure you’re ready to tackle these tough assignments (see Indra’s point about being competent). Failing to turnaround a bad situation will not help you establish a strong reputation.

What is the most difficult task facing your firm right now? How can you ready yourself to be a part of the solution?

“Embrace life-long learning”

In the past, firms trained the front lines and briefed senior management. With major shifts in technology and business, senior management must stay ahead of their competitors by constantly learning and using that knowledge to develop better strategies. Firms are now training their executives so they can brief their teams. Change management is becoming the norm and it’s forcing all leaders to “read more and question more”.

What was the last thing you learned? How are you staying informed of new technologies in your industry?

During this talk, Indra emphasized how her Asian values and support system contributed to her success.  She recounted how her mother would help her at home and on occasion, her mother would give feedback to her during a business call about how she’s handling the call. Despite having every right to ignore her, Indra would acquiesce and follow her mother’s guidance as a sign of respect. She recognized that if she wanted her parents’ support, she needed to play her role as well.

This story taught me two important lessons: Leverage your heritage as a strength and be kind to your parents (especially when it’s not easy to do so).

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I wish I could say no to everything that didn’t move me closer to my goals but it’s just not easy for me. I have a hard time saying no. I fear missing out on a life-changing opportunity or disappointing the people who come to me for help.

As I balance work, two young kids at home, and an Executive MBA, I find that I’m forced to prioritize and make trade-offs. One mindset shift that has helped me better manage requests is to view my time as a valuable currency that can be invested in activities.

Every request is a pitch for my time and as with all investment decisions, it’s important to do my due diligence. A few questions I find helpful to:

• Ask the person making the request:
  • Why did you come to me with this request?
  • What exactly do you need from me? By when?
  • Who else have you asked?
  • If the other person is my boss, I might ask:
    • How would you like me to prioritize this task?
    • What other projects should I delay or stop doing? 

• Ask myself:
  • Will this activity give me the most return towards one of my key goals or enhance a relationship I want to build?
  • What will I give up if I take this on? What are the opportunity costs? 
  • How else can I help this person without investing too much of my time?

Running through this checklist of questions allows me to slow down the decision process and hear the other person’s reasons for his or her request. If it’s a thoughtless request, it’ll be much easier to say no. If it’s an interesting or worthwhile ask, then I won’t feel guilty taking it on.

Managing my time as investable currency has helped me say no more easily and live life by design and not by default. Hopefully, if you have a hard time saying no, these questions can help you better manage the countless requests that come your way.

Inspired by Bill Jensen and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Photo by XoMEoX

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• You despise people who kiss up to the boss because you feel that one’s work should speak for itself.
• You could care less what your boss thinks or wants as long as you’re doing what’s best for your clients or firm.
• You plan to actively sabotage your boss or make him look dumb because he is incompetent and constantly takes credit for your work.

Although you may be justified for these behaviors, your unwillingness to manage up will make it hard for you to succeed.

In Power: Why Some People Have It and Some People Don’t by Jeffrey Pfeffer, he cites a study that shows your supervisor’s commitment to and relationship with you matter more to your job success than your job performance. I’ve experienced this finding in my career and I can bet you have as well. This dynamic is exacerbated at more senior levels because output at the higher levels is more intangible and harder to quantify.

We can spend energy debating the fairness of whether relationships should matter more than performance, but that won’t help you move up in your career. Instead, you’re better served to focus your energy learning practical ways to manage your boss.

Managing up goes beyond just getting along with your boss. It’s about forging such a strong relationship that your boss will go above and beyond to help you succeed.

Leveraging conversations with senior executives on how they got to their current role and what they want from their direct reports, you’ll see below ten tips to help you manage up and give your boss what they want. If you are the CEO or owner, you can extend these tips to apply to the board or your clients.

The core theme to these tips can be summed up in the one question you should constantly ask yourself:

How do I make my boss’s life easier?

Here are 10 ways to answer this question:

1. Lead and manage yourself well

One of your manager’s main responsibilities is to manage and lead you. If you can lead yourself well, this will save your manager a lot of time.

Start by taking responsibility for your responsibilities. Ensure you understand what your boss has assigned to you – both the specific outcome desired and timeline for completing the task. It’s easy for your boss to forget that it’ll probably take you longer to complete a task than if she did it herself.

Do your boss a big favor by following through on the goals that were set. If you’re in a role with quantifiable measures for success like sales, managing yourself well means crushing your numbers so your boss doesn’t have to worry about you. When you don’t do your job, your boss will have to step in and fill the gap because they are ultimately responsible for your results.

Learn early in your career to manage your time and energy effectively. Two books that can help are Getting Things Done by David Allen and The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz.

2. Work on your boss’s goals

If you are good at your job, your boss’s peers and others will notice and will want you to help with their initiatives. Just because a project interests you, it doesn’t mean you should do it.

You want to first consider your boss’s main goals and to work on the projects and tasks to help him achieve his goals. Take time to understand the larger context of your role and how you and your boss add value to the organization.

If everything you work on helps your boss succeed, you will be invaluable to your boss. Remember that you can’t win if your boss fails. To take it one step further, strive to give your boss the credit (read more about the canvas strategy).

3. Overcommunicate

Employees frequently and unintentionally frustrate their bosses by not keeping them in the loop.

Whether it’s an update for an assigned project or mentioning an impromptu conversation with your boss’s boss, by the time your manager follows up with you about something, it’s too late. They’ve already heard something from their boss or peer and were caught unaware or they have a task pending that requires information from you.

Update your boss before they need an update. To make life easier for yourself, get into the habit of asking your boss how often they want you to keep them in the loop. When in doubt, overcommunicate. This is especially important when it looks like your project may fail. Give your boss warning way in advance so no one is caught by surprise.

4. Flex to your boss’s style

Everyone has his or her own preferred communication and management style. Take time to observe and match your boss’s style. 

If your boss is:

• Innovative and enjoys taking risks and performing experiments, then focus more on the big picture and supporting her experiments. Catch your boss’s enthusiasm.
• Cautious and values routine and minimizes risks, then focus on sticking to the tried and true and slowly introduce change.
• Empathetic and pays attention to employee feelings and overall mood, then highlight your own ability to be attuned to the human element.
• Driving and demands much from herself and her staff, then focus on high-quality execution and setting a high bar for you and your peers.

Don’t argue and don’t be a “yes man”. Form your own views and challenge existing assumptions but do so in your boss’s preferred style.

5. Show loyalty

Always support your boss (as long as he operates ethically). This means executing his decisions as if they were your own. This also involves standing up for or supporting him in meetings where he or his ideas are being challenged and staying away from publicly or privately criticizing your boss.

Instead of pointing out your boss’s faults, find ways to fill in his gaps. For example, if your boss is great at getting things done but does so in a brash way, help him repair or build up those relationships.

The more your boss feels you truly have his back, the more he will have yours. All leaders need competent people they can trust to continue progressing in their career. If you act in a way that threatens your boss, don’t be surprised if your own career grinds to a halt.

6. Value your leader’s time 

Every time you meet with your manager, be fully prepared so you don’t waste her time. Have your agenda ready along with updates that your manager might be interested in. Every minute she spends with you is time away from completing her own tasks. 

If you plan to share a problem, come with an analysis of the issue and a proposed solution. If you don’t, you’re dumping unexpected work onto your boss’s plate, which most people don’t appreciate. Don’t make your boss think for you.

7. Do what others won’t

Bosses find it difficult to assign mundane or difficult tasks that need to get done. Since these tasks consume a lot of time, are not glorious and don’t develop new skills, most employees won’t raise their hand for these assignments.

Step up and help. Take the assignments that are annoying, boring, or difficult. Show that you’re not too proud or afraid to do what it takes to help your boss or to pay your dues. Extend this attitude to tasks that are not your exact job responsibility.

When you constantly step up and perform well, your boss will see you as the team’s go-to player. This recognition will give you access to better assignments that will boost your career.

8. Succeed with difficult people

One senior executive shared with me his frustration when his direct report failed to get along with her peer from another line of business despite numerous intervention from their bosses. These two employees’ inability to settle their differences hurt both their reputations and now one of them is no longer with the firm.

You rarely get to choose your boss or your peers. When you’re unable to collaborate effectively or manage conflict with others, your manager ends up stepping in. This is a drain on their time and a headache he doesn’t need.

Learn to develop strong working relationships with everyone by honing your emotional intelligence. Show you’re willing to do what’s best for the team and the firm and that you’re not just all for yourself. Build a reputation of creating win-win outcomes for all of your interactions.

9. Keep learning 

Take charge of your own growth. Although your manager should guide and coach you, you’re ultimately responsible for mastering your craft and the softer skills needed for success.

The more competent you are, the more credible you’ll be. Set goals for WHO you want to be as opposed to WHERE you want to be. Attend conferences where you can learn about the newest developments. Take an active role in industry groups to network and hear what others are doing.

When deciding on which skills to develop, find the intersection between the skills your firm and boss needs and your interest and talents. Lean on your strengths.

10. Know when to let go

When communicating with your boss, timing is everything. Know when to push and when to back off. Gauge the mood of your boss and think about how your boss would react to your information and request. When possible, wait for the right moment to speak up. 

Questions to ask yourself:

• Is this matter urgent? Is it urgent for your boss?
• Will this information or request help your boss succeed?
• Do you have information your boss is not aware of and needs to know?

It is essential to know when to back off. If you’ve already spoken to your boss about something and she is not getting back to you, consider the following before pressing the issue:

• How much of this is my agenda vs. what’s good for my boss, the team, and the organization? Is the timing only right for me?
• Did I already make my point?
• If it’s bad news, do I really need to be the messenger?
• Is the current environment or my boss’s mood friendly to what I’m asking for?
• Could I be overstepping?

Take time this week and observe your activities and interactions with your boss. Gauge which activities are helping to make your boss’s job easier and which ones make your boss’s life more difficult.

Photo by Kenny Louie

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At some point in your career, you will encounter uncivil situations at work.

Your colleague knowingly takes credit for your work. Your boss berates you and actively blocks your next career move. Your colleague interrupts you in a meeting or checks their email during your presentation.

No matter how others disrespect you, your response to these uncivil situations is what counts.

To preserve the peace, most people let it go and respond with silence. This may work in the short-term but if the issue persists, silence often shifts to violence in the form of passive-aggressive behavior, disengagement or in some cases, real violence.

To be take back control of a situation that seems out of your control, consider the 5 C’s:

Clarity

Get a clear and accurate picture of what is actually happening. What assumptions are you making about the situation and the other person’s behavior?

What you might perceive as being unreasonable or unfair may be legitimate and justified from the other person’s point of view.

For example, if your co-worker jumps in during your presentation at work. You may perceive that action as taking credit for your work while your colleague thought she was jumping in to help you out because you seemed to be struggling.

The best way to challenge your assumptions is to ask the other person why they did what they did. It’s important to keep a neutral tone when you ask as opposed to using an accusatory one. To help you stay neutral, give the other person the benefit of the doubt first.

Contribution

Many times, other people’s actions are a response to your actions.

Look closely at your actions and see if they might be misperceived. A good question to ask yourself,

“Why would a rational, good person do

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When you are great at something, you’ll find yourself with more opportunities than you have time. Now the previously successful, say-yes-to-everything approach begins to hurt you. Not only will you be overwhelmed, but the more serious consequence is that you’ll end up confusing others about your brand.

To continue your success, you need to build and more importantly, maintain a strong brand.

Brands are the shortcuts people use to make decisions. When you buy Coca-Cola or a BMW, you know exactly what you’re getting. When people “buy” you, how sure are they about the quality they’ll get from you? The more uncertain they are, the more likely they’ll invest their time, money and energy with someone else.

To build your brand, take control of how others experience you:

• How you look and make others feel
• What you say and do (and how you say and do it)
• Where you are and are not

Before we look at how you can manage other people’s perceptions in these three areas, you must first be clear on your brand. If you’re not sure, a quick and easy way to get started is to ask yourself:

What adjectives do I want

[my target audience or ideal client] 

to think about when they think about me and my work? 

Take a few minutes and write down 3-4 adjectives you want your target audience to use to describe you. If you don’t have a target audience yet, think about the individuals you enjoy working and interacting with most often. For me, I want high-performing leaders to describe me as practical, focused on excellence, caring and thoughtful.

To build a strong recognizable brand, consistency is key. It’s not enough that you see yourself as the adjectives you’ve chosen, you need others to see you that way as well.

So how do you ensure others will use the same adjectives you chose to describe you?

Below are practical tips based on my work with leaders at Fortune 500 companies and top academic universities:

How you look and make others feel

Think back to an event where you took notice of someone you didn’t know.

The first thing you probably did was to size them up based on what you saw – their dress, their body language and the response they received from others. Processing this visual information, you guessed at their seniority, level of success, job function, etc. This judgement helped you decide whether you approached them to engage and learn more about them.

If you decided not to engage, then your impression is solely based on what you’ve seen. If you do approach them, you further fine-tuned or corrected your assumptions based on what you heard and saw during your interaction.

This automatic tendency to judge based on what we see is natural and a survival instinct. You judge others and people judge you constantly. You want to keep in mind that as you become more successful, the amount of time people have to get to know you at a deeper level drops dramatically. They will judge you based on what they see and the little they know. Unfortunately, in most cases, you won’t be able to correct any faulty assumptions.

Think of your senior executives or the President of your country (if you’re already a senior executive). How much do you really know about them? Probably not too much yet you may already have a strong judgment about the type of person they are.

This is why you need to manage how people see you and look the part you want to play. When people see you, will they automatically assume the adjectives you’ve chosen? How do you match up to what they are expecting? If you show up to Facebook with a dark suit and tie and talk about the work you do with Silicon Valley tech companies, don’t be surprised if people suspect your credibility.

Disney does a great job tightly controlling your experience with them. Everyone I’ve spoken to about Disney, uses very similar adjectives: over-the-top service, awesome experience, and not cheap. For those who haven’t experienced Disney firsthand, there is a high probability that you’ll have a great time when you do go.

When others interact with you, what do you want them to walk away remembering and feeling? How do you want to emotionally connect with them? What would you like them to say to their network about you? Is it consistent with the adjectives you’ve chosen?

To practically influence how others experience you, be thoughtful about:

What you say and do (and how you say and do it)

Your physical appearance, words, and actions make up the experience others will have of you.

We’ve covered what people see, now let’s focus on your words and actions. Do they align with how you want others to see you? Are you using words that resonate with your target audience and does your vocabulary match what they are expecting from you?

How do you say what you say? What does your tone, speaking rhythm, accent, and energy say to others? Powerful people tend to speak more deliberately. British accents tend to sound more sophisticated. Passionate people tend to speak with more energy. These are all ways people can interpret how you talk.

Now for your actions. What activities are you engaged in and do they help others see you the way you want to be seen?

For example, if you take copious notes during a meeting, people will likely see you as being a junior employee (unless you’re Richard Branson).

Other questions to consider:

• When speaking at conferences, what topics are you speaking on?
• What books are you reading?
• Do you take on projects that are consistent with your brand?

Which leads me to the last area of focus.

Where you are and are not

When you’re successful, people want to enlist you to help them. This means countless partnership or speaking requests, special project proposals, and event or board invitations. As a high performer, you’ll be tempted to help especially with requests from those close to you in your network.

Before you say “yes” to any opportunity, ask yourself:

How consistent is this activity with the reputation I want?

When managing your brand, knowing where you shouldn’t be is just as important as knowing where you should be. If you’re building a reputation as an expert on disruptive technologies in manufacturing, it’ll be confusing if others see you frequently speak on investing and personal finance, even if you can give quality advice on those topics.

Again, to build a brand that people recognize, you must be consistent. People have to have a similar experience every time for an extended period before they begin to automatically associate you with your brand.

This means better allocating your limited time by saying “no” to opportunities that won’t allow you to exude the adjectives you’ve chosen. When you attend an event that is either neutral or negative in building your brand, you’re essentially saying “no” to an event or activity that can positively enhance your reputation.

The same idea extends to the people you associate with and your environment. You will be judged by the company you keep and where you spend your time. If you spend a lot of time with innovative people, others will assume you’re innovative. Some people assume Googlers, Google employees, are smart and quirky despite never working at Google or meeting a Googler. Others assume those in labor-intensive roles are less-educated.

Look closely at where you’re spending your time and who you’re spending it with. Would your surroundings make a strong case for your desired image or is it something you need to hide?

Take time to architect your brand.

One tip is to study characters on TV or film. Great actors believably take on different character roles. The way they do it is by understanding what people expect from a certain character and matching their look, feel, actions and environment to the mainstream expectation. Professors wear tweed, sport beards and drive Toyotas. High-powered businessmen wear custom suits, gel back their hair and have chauffeurs. Bankers wear ties. Consultants don’t. The list goes on.

Decide on the brand you want and find an actor or actress that believably exudes those qualities. How does he or she look, act and make others feel? How is their environment portrayed? Get specific on the behaviors and mimic them.

It’s not easy to build a brand. That’s why the good ones are worth so much.

Photo by Vadim Timoshkin

The post Knowing Where You Shouldn’t Be and Other Tips for Long-Lasting Success appeared first on Robert Chen.

As a high-performer, you strive to learn new and effective strategies to enhance your life both professionally and personally. As you pick up these skills and insights and gain positive results, you begin to notice when other people are lacking this knowledge or skill set. This awareness puts you in danger of becoming a snob and you are officially recognized as a snob when you begin to judge others as being less than you because they don’t know what you know or do what you do.

This often happens when people gain new knowledge and expertise. They learn “proper” table manners and begin to look down on others who don’t hold their forks correctly. They learn a new religious or cultural custom and begin to show disdain for those who break the custom. They laugh at those not properly dressed for the occasion. This feeling of superiority and lack of empathy for others can hurt not only your relationships but also people’s perception of you.

Another more nuanced way people unknowingly become snobs is when they feel compelled to share their new knowledge with those around them. They do so with the good intention of helping others and there is nothing wrong with sharing knowledge – it’s when and how you do it that decides whether the other person will see you as being helpful or as a snob.

So how can you avoid being a snob when you learn something new?

• Share your knowledge only if the other person wants to hear it – for some people, there is nothing more annoying than unsolicited advice
• Offer your newfound insights as an option to be chosen rather than a rule to be followed
• Understand that the new strategy, mindset or behavior you’re recommending may work for you, but not for others because everyone is different
• Even if experts agree that what you’re recommending is “better”, don’t make the other person feel inadequate by devaluing their views or calling them ignorant

One simple guideline that helps me internalize these tips:

Give the other person choice AND respect their choice.

Share your positive experience and leave it up to the other person to choose what they want to do with it. Don’t see them as ignorant or less of a person because they disagree with you or choose not to adopt what you see as the better way of working. Your sincere respect for others should be reflected in both your words and actions.

Another way to avoid sounding close-minded or elitist, is to stay away from the following words:

• Should
• Always
• Never

Because every one of us is unique, absolutes typically don’t work. To connect with others, acknowledge that we are all different yet equal and entitled to our beliefs and choices. Unfortunately, this point is easy to forget because society rewards certain behaviors and punishes others. What is “good”, “right” or “successful” depends heavily on the context you’re in.

A helpful way to thrive in this subjective world might be to assume that:

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve currently chosen to believe as truth.

This will bring out your empathetic side.

Give it a try next time you:

• See someone improperly dressed for an event
• Disagree with the ideas or policies of your firm’s leadership
• Interact with someone who is missing all of the social cues you’re sending

Final piece of advice to keep in mind:

Your truth is as legitimate as mine – opt to educate as opposed to convert.

Photo by Deutschen Theater Berlin

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